Planning a big move for long term study or relocation? Here’s some hints that may make the transition easier!

Haylen Rose
6 min readApr 2, 2019

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Having kids is awesome; they inspire, motivate, love, induce anxiety and so much more. They have the power to influence your worldview and to make you a better person than you were. Simply put, you’ll do anything for them; and for me this was what influenced the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.

Some months ago, a family vacation exposed us to education possibilities for our toddler we were not aware of. A pros and cons list and some discussions later, my wife and I were now staring into an unknown certainty where there used to be a clear path. The only thing that was known for sure was that we would need to be moving soon to get our kid the start he needs.

There are many reasons that may have led you to this crucial point in your life and it potentially has nothing to do with your kids. However, the emotions, anxiety and thoughts you will experience while packing and planning will still be pretty similar.

I’m hoping that relating a few points I felt were important during my own personal experience would be helpful to you!

Whatever the reasons, ensure they are good ones

First and foremost, you have to ensure that the reason you are moving is not emotionally driven or something that could be fleeting. This is a pretty big step in life and needs due diligence. Your decision will affect your friends, family, support system; not to mention your bank account!

I do know a few persons that ended up making a major move without much logic to backup their decision. Needless to say, this didn’t work out as well as they were hoping.

We took a couple weeks to let the idea sink in and then started a pros and cons list. It’s also helpful to include someone outside the situation that can be a good “devil’s advocate” to ensure you capture a solid list.

We used a weighted pros and cons list for our decision. You can find some information here to help you setup and get one going quickly.

Pick a date and cast it in stone

You’ve weighed your list and it looks like the logical choice is to make the move. In the coming weeks, you and your family are going to be faced with an avalanche of emotions prompting some second guessing and procrastination. It may not actually change your mind, but it can cause you to rationalize postponing of dates and processes that needs to happen for the move.

Once you are sure that this is what needs to happen, choose a date and then do something to ensure that it is cemented. In our case, after realizing there was a tendency to procrastinate, we “put our money where our mouth was”. We booked plane tickets, movers and accommodations for the date and paid everyone off upfront.

Now it was not only a logical decision, but one that we were now invested in financially.

It does seems a bit much, but it ensured our commitment and forced us to work around the emotions and kept us focused on the logic behind the move as an endpoint was already defined.

Focus on the main reason for the move

At this point you’ve done some research, you’ve reviewed your pros and cons list and it’s still a go. From your list you would have realized that there is one or two main reasons for the move. Write these down on some cards and keep them around the house and even in your pocket.

This was especially helpful in the week or two coming up to our move date when packing became a bit harder and we started reminiscing on each and every item we were packing or cataloging for sale.

External reminders of the time spent building your life to this point needs to be balanced with reminders of the commitment and reasons for building a life further in a new location.

Research research research

We’ve discussed measures about staying focused and ensuring you don’t chicken out on yourself. However, there’s a component of anxiety around the unknown of building a life in a new society with new infrastructure, rules and people.

The Internet now provides easy access to news, events, compliance processes and legal hurdles for most countries/locations that you may be heading to. Use it.

Start creating lists for things you still need to find out and prepare for before the move as well as things you will need to have sorted out in the few weeks after you reach your new location. For example our research highlighted things like waiting lists for daycare, costs and taxes not standard in our country of origin, the need for health insurance, processes involved to get new forms of identification as well as living arrangements.

Within a couple weeks, we were able to amass a hefty amount of information about what was needed and what to prepare for. This allowed us to create a comprehensive plan that boosted our confidence about the logistics of the move, cost of living and budgets.

Accomplishing this informed plan felt like a huge boulder was lifted form our shoulders. We were going to survive.

Start Packing in Advance

While this may go without saying, you should start packing at least three weeks in advance of the move date. If you have young kids, you probably need to start packing six weeks in advance! Additionally, arrange for sitters or daycare for the kids while you pack.

Kids tend to unpack while your packing! Especially if you’re packing up their toys.

Plan your cash game in advance

An area that shouldn’t be overlooked is getting your cash and monetary instruments sorted and planned weeks in advance of the move date.

This includes understanding bank charges for currency exchange, requirements for new bank accounts when you arrive, method of transferring the money, authorization to make the transfer etc.

You will also need to talk to your banker about potential bottlenecks and legal concerns with getting your money moved to a bank in your destination. The last thing you want is to make a move with your family and have no form of sustenance to buffer you with some breathing room so you can focus on settling in and getting any legal and administrative tasks completed.

Lastly, enjoy the experience!

My final thought here is, enjoy the experience. Both the reminiscing of the fun past as well as the exciting potential for the future. The point of these tips is to allow you to focus on the positives by stripping away all the other negative emotions and issues that can come up.

This article was written from personal experience and I’m certain your experience will be particular to you and your family. However, I sincerely hope that some of these tips can help prepare you for what may well be one of the biggest steps in you life’s journey!

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Haylen Rose

Technologist, Entrepreneur, Agile advocate, Software Engineer, proud female activist who happens to be transgender